it’s complicated

Don’t tell him, but my husband may be right about something. He claims I create more work for myself, and I’m afraid it’s true. Too often, I take something simple and turn it over and inside out until it’s complicated … which may explain why I’m at a bit of a crossroads.
The seasonal switch to Spring has officially (and mercifully) begun in the Midwest, leading me to focus on all things related to hearth and home. I’m de-cluttering, re-decorating, and power-cleaning to the point of physical exhaustion. A side effect, of course, is mental exhaustion. I have no brain capacity to write while in the midst of my domestic goddess-ness. Yet still, my head works better when my “to-do” list is small, so I’m working feverishly to finish simple projects. Truth be told, however, is they aren’t necessarily simple, but rather easier than the work awaiting me with this whole author thing. I’ve submitted The Choice Not Taken to literary agents (to no avail). I’ve re-evaluated my creative process (to no avail). I’ve been writing Part 2 of  Still Life (to no avail). I’ve dug for answers to never-ending questions (to no avail). In short, I’ve worked my tail off (to no avail).
So maybe my husband is right. I do create more work for myself, but I have little choice at this stage in the game. I’m still learning, and learning requires work. And though I love learning – I truly do – I’m not enjoying it at the moment. There is an overwhelming amount to research (and weed through) in regard to the business of writing, publishing, submitting, and more. I. Am. Burnt. Out. I need a break. Hence, my renewed interest in anything other than writing. And in my desperate attempt at distraction, I’ve completely re-decorated  my son’s room, gone through every item in our home and listed unnecessary ones for sale online and locally, re-organized my entire filing system, saw the latest kid-flick in the theater, had a date night with my husband and friends, re-connected with high school pals on-line, had my annual physical checkup (cholesterol is right where it should be), got my haircut, caught up on some reading, clearance shopped and stockpiled my son’s wardrobe for the rest of the year, and accomplished much more that really didn’t need to be done but seemed pressing at the time.
Yet, in my going about life, I also subconsciously worked out details I hadn’t considered before. Until now, I thought I’d just do book number 3 the same way I did the others. Now, I’m debating whether to forgo print; eBook might be the way to go. And I thought long and hard about whether to combine parts 1 & 2 into one substantial book. This, of course, would not be simple. It would be very, very complicated. I’d need to completely re-visit the original and, with the help of an editor, create an entirely new book. Then, if I did that, would I want to consider in-print again? Maybe hold out for submission to an agent or publisher? Then there is the entirely separate problem of marketing. And don’t get me started on writing groups. Or do I scrap everything altogether and find a “real” job? Sigh. There is much to consider, and I think you see why filthy windows and a cluttered garage pose little threat and hold more appeal…

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